Often, when we hear the word abuse in the Black community, what usually comes to mind is physical violence, where someone hits, pushes, chokes, and threatens someone with a weapon. But abuse is not limited to things that leave us with bruises.
Sometimes, abuse can involve controlling one of the most personal decisions a woman can make, which can be whether, when, and under what circumstances she becomes pregnant.
When a partner hides your birth control, refuses to use a condom, or deliberately damages it, pressures you to become pregnant, or, in the worst case, threatens you if you refuse to have a child, or forces you to end a pregnancy. They may be engaging in reproductive coercion.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, reproductive coercion is a behavior in which a partner intends to maintain power and control reproduction by either interfering with contraception or pressuring for pregnancy. For Black women in the U.S., this conversation requires serious attention. I’ve had friends, relatives, and colleagues who were, at one point, pressured by partners or older in-laws to have more children.
I am not talking about one or two isolated cases. I am talking about several cases. That’s why I wasn’t surprised to find that Black women have the highest rate of reproductive coercion of any other racial group.
As a woman, I don’t believe that reproductive freedom should be limited to having access to contraception or pregnancy care. Women should be able to make decisions about pregnancy choices without being controlled by their partners.
“I Want a Baby” Is Not the Same as Coercion
There is nothing wrong with wanting children, as long as you can provide for them and your partner is willing to have different opinions about whether they want children of their own. But it becomes a serious problem when a partner takes away the ability of the other partner to make decisions about pregnancy freely.
When you hear words like, “If you love me, you would give me a baby,” “If you don’t get pregnant, I am leaving.” Statements like these create pressure, and pressure can just as easily become coercion or abuse. The National Domestic Violence Hotline highlights some of the elements that accompany coercion, such as:
- Threats/abuse
- Intimidation
- Manipulation
- Financial control
- Violence
The whole point of these is to override another person’s reproductive choices, and they can become more intense or even lead to abuse when the person refuses to give in.
What Should You Do If You Think This Is Happening to You?
First, take comfort in knowing that it is not your fault. Reproductive coercion is the fault of the person trying to control you. Don’t blame yourself. Here are 5 things to do instead:
1. Think about your safety first.
If your partner has become excessively controlling or you have begun to notice signs of violence, confronting them about things like birth control can only further put you in danger.
Step back and leave without announcing your plan. Your safety comes first.
2. Talk privately with a healthcare provider.
If you can safely speak with your gynecologist, do so. You don’t have to spill the details. Just say something like, “My partner is interfering with my birth control; I am afraid of speaking to them about it”
The National Domestic Violence Hotline strongly recommends speaking with a healthcare provider about this, as they are best positioned to help you understand your options.
3. Consider your digital safety.
In today’s digital world, it’s a lot easier to monitor people through their digital footprints. Your partner may monitor your phone, email, browser, and location; hence, seeking help when things are tilting toward violence can be risky.
Find alternative ways to search online or get answers without your partner discovering it, especially if you suspect they are monitoring your phone. Try deleting your search history or restricting access to your devices.
4. Document what is happening when it is safe to do so.
For reference purposes, you must document the following:
- Threats related to pregnancy
- Forced or pressured sexual activity
- Financial control
- Dates of incidents
- Threatening messages
- Attempts to interfere with birth control
- Other forms of abuse
Do this in a way that will not increase your risk.
5. Build a support system.
Speaking up to someone you can trust is highly recommended. It might be:
- A close friend
- A family member
- A domestic-violence advocate
- A faith leader you trust
- An attorney
- A healthcare provider
- A counselor
Reproductive coercion is too big a burden for you to carry alone.
What Does Reproductive Coercion Have to Do With Black Women?
Reproductive coercion is not exclusive to the Black community; it happens in other races. But several studies point to the fact that there are racial disparities that make this problem particularly important to discuss in our community.
Aside from the fact that Black women have the highest rate of reproductive coercion of any other racial group, the National Library of Medicine reported that 23% of Black women have experienced reproductive coercion. Up to 39.5% report experiencing it.
Some reasons for this prevalence in our community can be traced to historical reproductive injustice, racism in reproductive healthcare (medical mistrust), gender inequality and partner control, economic dependence and financial abuse, as well as silence, stigma, and fear of seeking help.
The Jacobs Institute of Women’s Health reports that Black women are less likely to report reproductive coercion. Hence, because it is not reported, many men simply keep doing it, which has also reduced contraceptive use and increased the rate of sexually transmitted diseases among Black women.
In a nutshell, reproductive coercion is real; its effect is real, and Black women are experiencing the bulk of it.
For this reason, Elevate Black Health believes that, as a community, we can play a role in reducing reproductive coercion among Blacks through sensitization. Our women need to know that they have the right to change their minds about having children if circumstances change.
Also, the fact that your partner really wants a baby does not excuse coercion, and your body is not a relationship negotiation. You can compromise on other things, but not reproduction, because it requires something fundamental: freely given consent.
For Further Information on Reproductive Coercion, Visit These Sites:
- Centers for Disease Control. Adolescent Reproductive and Sexual Coercion: Measurement Invariance in a Population-Based Sample of Male and Female High School Students. https://stacks.cdc.gov/view/cdc/87763/cdc_87763_DS1.pdf
- PMC. Prevalence of Intimate Partner Reproductive Coercion in the United States: Racial and Ethnic Differences. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7274854/
- The Hotline. Reproductive Coercion. https://www.thehotline.org/resources/reproductive-coercion/
- Elevate Black Health. Black Women Coping with Violence and Trauma. https://www.elevateblackhealth.com/black-women-coping-with-violence-and-trauma/
- The Hotline. Domestic Violence Hotline. https://www.thehotline.org/
- PMC. Reproductive coercion sometimes works: evaluating whether young African-American women who experience reproductive coercion or birth control sabotage are more likely to become pregnant. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7384393/
- PMC. Reproductive coercion, medical mistrust, and Black women’s health from the antebellum period to the 21st century. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12587519/
- The Jacobs Institute of Women’s Health. New study in Women’s Health Issues explores contraceptive use and reproductive decision making in Black and White women who experience intimate partner violence.
- https://jiwh.publichealth.gwu.edu/news/new-study-womens-health-issues-explores-contraceptive-use-and-reproductive-decision-making
- NRCDV Technical Assistance Guidance Series (TAG Part 3). Understanding Reproductive Coercion, Non-Fatal Strangulation, and Intimate Partner Homicide. https://vawnet.org/sites/default/files/assets/files/NRCDV_ServingBlackWomen-TAGPart3-Feb2024.pdf
