Let’s keep it real. Are we having honest conversations about teen sex in the Black community?
I am not talking about the awkward health class lesson or the fear-based lectures many parents give that offer little more than shame and silence. I am talking about real stuff: the pressure, the confusion, the questions, and the decisions teens face every day.
In Black households, sex is a taboo topic. It’s off-limits. Factors such as cultural taboos, religious and spiritual beliefs, discomfort discussing sex, limited resources, and both historical and ongoing systemic inequalities contribute to the lack of open, honest conversations about sex among many Black teenagers, according to sources including Sex, etc., and Rutgers.
Research from Washington University Open Scholarship reveal that Black teens engage in sexual activity at higher rates than white counterparts yet receive less comprehensive sex education. The sex education they do receive is abstinence-only, emphasizing marriage as the only acceptable context for sex, according to a 2024 publication from the National Library of Medicine.
Another pressing issue is the gender gap in sex education. The limited information that is provided—by schools or parents—is often aimed primarily at girls, while boys are largely left out of the conversation.
So, if you have a teen, it’s best to address these concerns early. Please, share the following information to help a teen out there.
Consent: If It’s Not a Clear Yes, It’s a No!
Sex must be consensual, and consent is not just about saying yes; it is about wanting to say yes with no pressure attached. SUL Ross said consent must be mutual, freely given, and informed.
There is no such thing as “kind of” consent, or “they didn’t say no.” Sul Ross is clear about what consent is, and it can be taken back at any time.
It’s your body, your choice. If you are unsure, pause. If they are uncertain, stop. Feeling safe and in control of your body is a right and not a privilege. Full stop. Also, if you’re not mature enough to have this conversation with your partner, then you shouldn’t be engaging in sexual activity.
Protection=Power
Let’s be real. Sex can be enjoyed; however, it comes with risks:
- Unintended pregnancy
- Sexually transmitted infections (STIs), such as: HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, Human Papillomavirus (HPV), Herpes Simplex Virus (HSV), and Trichomoniasis.
- Long-term health complications mostly occur when STIs are not treated
- Mental health impact
Nevertheless, you have tools at your disposal to protect yourself:
- Condoms: The Centers for Disease Control said in 2023 that over 32% of cases of STIs were among Blacks, even though we make up just about 13% of the US population. To help protect against STIs and even pregnancy, use condoms during sex.
- Testing: There is no absolute safe sex. Therefore, the need for regular testing, even when you are feeling fine, shows your respect for yourself and your partner. Both Kidhealth and Johns Hopkins highly recommend this for sexually active teens.
- Birth Control: According to the Journal of Adolescent Health, Black teens’ birth rate is twice as high as that of white teens. The report also revealed that 24% of teen pregnancies end in abortion. If you are having sex with someone who can get pregnant or get you pregnant, talk about birth control and never assume the other person will handle it.
- Limited Sexual Partners: The more partners you have, the higher your chances of getting STIs, even when you are using protection, according to a 2009 article published in ResearchGate.
Respect Starts Before the Bedroom
If a person does not respect your time, boundaries, and goals, then they should not have access to your body. They will likely:
- Pressure you to prove your love
- Ignore your “I AM NOT READY”
- Not care about using protection
A healthy relationship must feel safe and not stressful. If it feels off, trust your gut.
Talk Before You Do It
If you cannot talk about sex with your partner, it means you are not ready for it. Before sex, have an honest conversation with the following people:
- The person you are thinking of having sex with.
- A friend you can trust to keep it real.
- Talk to an adult–yes, you heard me right. We can be awkward, but we are always there for you.
Remember to research thoroughly on what to expect before, during, and after sex.
Ask questions like:
- Are we both ready?
- What protection is best for us?
- What will be our next step if something goes wrong?
- How will we feel afterward?
Why This Matters For the Black Community
According to Guttmacher, there has been an overall decline in teenage pregnancy, but the rate is twice as high in Black teens as in White teens. This report aligns with the one published in the Journal of Adolescent Health.
Many Black people grow up in single-parent households because of systems that fail families. ScienceDirect and the Economic Policy Institute report that disparities in education, access to quality healthcare, economic opportunities, and discriminatory practices are among the numerous factors contributing to these issues.
While single parents are incredibly strong (a big shout out to them), the challenges of parenting without support are immense, and no one should have to face them alone. That’s why I am discussing choices, protection, and knowing your worth. The aim is not to scare you but to help you determine the future you want for yourself. Here are some websites with free, medically accurate information just for teens:
- TeenHealth.org
- PlannedParenthood.org/learn
- Besider.org
- Amaze.org
Elevate Black Health encourages open and honest communication with your parent or guardian. While we respect your privacy, involving them can provide valuable guidance and support.
For further research:
- Why Some Black Parents Don’t Talk to Their Daughters About Sex. https://sexetc.org/info-center/post/why-some-black-parents-dont-talk-to-their-daughters-about-sex/
- U.S. Adolescents Are Receiving Less Sex Education in Key Topics Than 25 Years Ago. https://www.rutgers.edu/news/us-adolescents-are-receiving-less-sex-education-key-topics-25-years-ago
- Abstinence-Only Education Fails African American Youth. https://openscholarship.wustl.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1136&context=law_lawreview
- A Miseducation: Perspectives on Sexuality Education from Black Women in the US South. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11593502/
- Defining Consent. https://www.sulross.edu/title-ix/defining-consent/
- National Overview of STIs in 2023. https://www.cdc.gov/sti-statistics/annual/summary.html
- Getting Tested for STDs. https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/std-testing.html#:~:text=If%20you%20and%20your%20partner,or%20by%20other%20sexual%20contact.
- Safer Sex Guidelines for Teens. https://johnshopkinshealthcare.staywellsolutionsonline.com/library/testsprocedures/90,P01645
- Understanding the Differences in Pregnancy and Birth Rates for Black and White Teens. https://www.jahonline.org/article/S1054-139X(20)30322-0/fulltext
- Multiple sexual partnership mediates the association between early sexual debut and sexually transmitted infection among adolescent and young adult males in Nigeria. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/24252308_Multiple_sexual_partnership_mediates_the_association_between_early_sexual_debut_and_sexually_transmitted_infection_among_adolescent_and_young_adult_males_in_Nigeria
- What Is Behind the Declines in Teen Pregnancy Rates? https://www.guttmacher.org/gpr/2014/09/what-behind-declines-teen-pregnancy-rates
- Pathways into college and away from crime: Perspectives of Black and Latino/a youth growing up in single-mother households in one of America’s most dangerous cities. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0190740919302750
